One More Reason not to Smoke

We're all familiar with the no smoking sign. We've seen it in public places, private buildings, bars, restaurants, schools, and gas stations. But as more and more people are trying to lead healthier lives, it seems like it's virtually impossible to find a place for a smoke break. This sign, brought to you by the good folks in the state of Maine, crosses one more locale off the list.

That's right. You may not smoke in a puffin's butt.

I think it's an honorable endeavor, although it does leave one to question the necessity of such a sign. Are puffins with their colorful beaks and snazzy black suits the ideal birds to grab a smoke with? Is the campaign meant to keep tobacco products away from a gullible and easily addicted species? Maybe it's just too unsettling for all of the visitors to Vacationland to see such an adorable animal participating in such deplorable behavior. I think, however, that these explanations give the puffin too much credit. After all, no one's preventing you from handing out Camels to a harbor seal or lobster. That being said, the only logical explanation is that puffins suffer from a particularly flammable (dare I say explosive?) flatulence problem.

Take your pick. But whatever the case, if you choose to put tobacco products up a bird's anus, you're taking your own life into your hands.