Real Love

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, the completely arbitrary date for everyone to wish they were in love. But I've got good news for you bloggers out there. Hersheypark (The self advertised SWEETEST place on earth) has these nifty signs plastered all over the place.


That's right, no broken hearts! And I'm not just talking about at the tunnel of love. Roller coasters, bumpers cars, the Ferris Wheel-you can't go twenty feet without stumbling on something that's guaranteed to amend your amorous anguish.

Science has proven that nothing cements a relationship more than pure terror. Why do you think so many people take their dates to horror movies? Forget the chocolates this week. If you want love, go for inverted, looping thrill rides. After all, isn't that what love really is?

In every generation...

Many neighborhoods post signs like these:


They indicate that a) there's a neighborhood watch and b) curiously pointed silhouettes in trench coats and fedoras are not welcome.

That's all well and good, but in the Twenty-First Century, who's really afraid of bumping into James Cagney in the middle of the night? That being said, some of you may think the sign, and perhaps the whole idea of a neighborhood watch, is a little out of date. Well, I beg to differ. Take a look at who's behind the mask.



Homestar?! Well it wouldn't have been my first guess, but he's got to be at least as bad for the youth as cigarettes and dice. I guess each generation has its own cross to bear.