...This warning's for you!

I can only imagine that some of you reading this are dismayed at the number of things that are out to get you. Well good news, we do have a way to fight back!


I'm sure you remember Captain Planet. "Earth! Wind! Fire! Water! Heart! By your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!" I don't know about you, but I always wondered what the lame guy with "heart" did. I mean, being able to conjure up a tsunami or hurricane force winds is pretty cool. But heart?

Well, I only learned this recently, but apparently heart can stop machines. Check out this warning sign.


Man can control a hydraulic lift with his heart. Who knew? It must be like one of those things where a mother is able to life up a car when it's on top of her child. Either way, it's one point for the human race. And if there are any aspiring machine overlords from the Matrix out there eavesdropping, this warning's for you!

Gimme a break!

Keeping with last week's theme, I offer you this warning sign from Hersheypark.

The poor sap pictured above seems to be suffering not only from a fever, but some kind of severe head injury. One might assume, considering the bright red slash through the sign, that I would be offering Hersheypark as some kind of prophylactic against these maladies. (Super Duper Looper for your sore throat? Kissing Tower for your cramps?)

But you should also note that our friend is sporting a pretty cheeky grin. Taking the sign as a whole, I think you can really only come to one conclusion. If you've got these problem, you're not going to be smiling...even in the Sweetest Place on Earth.

...the best medicine

It's a good thing we're doing this online because I'd hate to be stuck in a room with both of this blog's followers. It's the perfect time of year to get sick. But if you can't just sit inside all day and read blogs, 3M has a solution for you. (You know, the people who make scotch tape.)

Whether you're about to do some arc welding, perform open heart surgery, or just want to go clubbing during flu season, they've got you covered.


If you do get sick this winter, chicken soup may be the best thing for you. But if you're nervous about third degree burns from spilled chicken soup...I recommend 3M.

New Year, Old Foes

I hope the New Year is bringing you all good fortune and good health. And staying in good health is really tough this time of year. A lot of shit goes down. Seriously, the other night, there were spiked balls, pickles, Hershey kisses, fruit, and all kinds of things falling from the sky. Everything seemed to calm down shortly after midnight, but it reminded me of one of the first posts I had on this blog. Flying boxes aren't just headed for your stomach any more.

Watch out!

Play Nice

Again, I have to apologize for my recalcitrance. December is a busy month, but that doesn't make it any safer, quite the contrary. It's frighteningly common for people people to injure themselves trying to get Christmas presents out of their packaging. And the danger doesn't stop there. I mean what does Best Buy expect you to do with with a four foot tall cardboard box, thirty feet of bubble wrap, and a bag of foam peanuts?


It's fine if you want to build a spaceship out of all of that extra garbage, but play nice!


I understand, there's a lot of sibling rivalry and old wounds that get opened up at the holidays. Remember the year you fed Barbie to the cat? And who can forget the fight over the sweater Aunt Annie knit for you? But don't strangle your younger brother! It's hard enough to breathe with a plastic bag over your head.